Monday, February 04, 2008

My Fellow Americans

Hi, it's Dolores.

Laura Bush was saying to me the other day, isn't ambition a fickle thing? One minute you're all comfy in your boudoir, leafing through the Vogue summer preview and considering whether it would make sense to move the chaise longue a little closer to the liquor cabinet; and the next minute you're tits up on the shag carpet wondering what life's about and why you feel so unfulfilled.

Cupcakes: I, too, have had such a moment, though unlike dear Laura I did manage to keep both myself and my cosmo off the rug. I was going through my morning e-mails about a month ago and read:
Dear Dolores,

Hi! Such a fan here. I work at a rehabilitation center for wayward girls in Wheatgrass Depot, Oregon and not a day goes by that your name doesn't come up in conversation at least twice!

Anywhoo, not to get too personal but I was wondering, how do you manage it all? I come home from an eight-hour day and all I want to do is drop into a chair with a big old Fiesta Platter from the Taco Bell and watch "Ugly Betty" reruns. You have your writing, your music, your celebrity lifestyle and your duty to the public as a fashion icon. Does the pressure to be the best ever get to you?

Respectfully,
Mitzie
Now, I must get at least a dozen questions like that every day. But until this one, I always sent a form response explaining that like a tender South American orchid growing on a rugged cliff, I gotta bloom or perish. It's the reason I left the farm where I was born. I didn't want to wind up like my mother, who wrote "Today I ate some grass" on every page of her diary until the day she died.

When I read Mitzie's message, well, the veil dropped from my eyes. I've lived, yeah. Songs? Sung. Books? Written. Parties? And how. And yet...and yet...it's not enough. But when you've done it all and are still shockingly youthful, what are you gonna do next?

I don't mind telling you I was on the verge of weeping a little weep like Alexander, because there were no more worlds to conquer. And then a voice in my head thundered, "Dolores! Now is the time for all good sheep to come to the aid of the country."

And I thought, how true.

So what if I've always been an artist? Many artists have evolved into inspiring political leaders. Think of Ignaz Paderewski, Vaclav Havel, Fred Grandy, Sonny Bono. If Arnold Schwarzenegger can stand on a lofty peak, why shouldn't I reach the summit? And as my Great-Aunt Wilma used to say, if the world's going to go to Hell in a handbasket you might as well try to grab the handle.

Today, therefore, I am announcing my candidacy for President of the United States of America, as representative of the newly-formed Fibertarians party.

We are a small but powerful fledgling coalition. According to exploratory canvassing our power base is extremely diverse, witness the chart below.

Fibertarians Power Base

Talk about strange bedfellows. Of course, all are welcome in this tent.* We only ask an allegiance to party principles, which are as follows:
  1. Vote for me.
  2. See above.
Here's our entry in the American political menagerie. Clip 'n' post it as a blog button or Ravelry avatar, or pick a way to display your party allegiance in the real world. [Edited to add: due to popular demand, Dolores for President gear is now available to supplement the line of Fibertarian items. –F. Habit, Director of Campaign Swag.]

Fibertarians Party Symbol

Fibertarians Avatar

Fibertarians Avatar 2

Now, my campaign promises.

Unlike the other candidates, I readily admit that I'm in this for the bling. Free travel by private jet, a huge expense account, my own office, and a posse of humpy bodyguards in suits and dark glasses? Betcherass. So just tell me what you want, and I'll want that, too.

Let's get the ball of yarn rolling with a few suggestions collected by my press secretary, Harry.
  1. Elizabeth Zimmermann's birthday will be declared a national holiday.
  2. All fiber-related purchases will be fully tax-deductible.
  3. Knitting will become a mandatory subject in American public schools.
  4. Government subsidies for the establishment of independent yarn shops in high-need areas.
It's your country, kids. I just plan to run it.

Dolores for President!

*You don't even have to live in America or be American. After a stay in the White House, I'm thinking world domination might be a freakin' hoot.

207 comments:

1 – 200 of 207   Newer›   Newest»
Annette said...

Oh Dolores you can come over here ( Australia) and dominate me anytime! That had to be one of the funniest most inspired posts ever written. Thank you Franklin!

Telmah said...

Wonderful! You really brought it all together perfectly with the "let freedom bleat" at the end. To whom should I write the campaign donation checks?

swan/dragon said...

Shockingly enough, the most honestly run campaign I've seen to date. I am totally buying a thong to support your campaign.
Let freedom bleat, indeed.

kt said...

Ruminants Rule!

And for your running mate?????

Doesn't matter, you had me at "Hi".

The Queen said...

As a life long "Independent" because I'm with Will Rogers when he said, 'I don't want to join any party who will have me as a member.' I may have to break my mold and sign up as a card carrying Fibertarian.

Now -- Dolores, you are aware that you will be forced to prove your age (gasp) and produce an income statement, correct?

May I offer up my services to do just about anything that brings me closer to hotty secret service men?

Mel said...

It really is a natural progression, so smack my ass and call me Sally.

Um, then sign me up.

BalletMommy said...

Oh Dolores, you've got my vote! I hope you don't mind, but I quoted you and put a link to it in an article I just wrote for the Lime and Violet Chumfest! (Brilliant Franklin...)

crystal said...

Brilliant. I'm campaigning for you over at my blog!

Bells said...

Delores - can you please suggest a way non-US citizens might be of use in your campaign?

Tracy said...

Obama was such a good sport to hold my knitting for a picture, but I'm jumping ship. Dolores Baby you're getting my vote. Ya know, we got that look alike thing going on, just think, come Jan 20 2009 I could be the Presidential body double...WOW

BTW I think Baaaaarack Obaaaaama for VP has a nice ring to it.

Lissa said...

Oh...oh, DEAR.

Linuxwitch said...

Wheatgrass Depot....wow, Have you passed through through Pendleton recently? :D

Redford Phyl said...

Finally! A candidate worthy of our votes! Go get 'em.

Rabbitch said...

I think she's got a good chance, really.

Anonymous said...

bwahaha, the star-spangled thong just tipped me over the edge - brilliant stuff!

Kellie

anne marie in philly said...

dolores, you would bring fun back into the white house (as opposed to the xenophobia and jingoism of the past 8 years).

"let freedom bleat" indeed!

for campaign promises, how about a mandatory 2 hour break in the workday for knitting? it would refresh the mind/body/spirit in ways a job ever could.

Wendy said...

What an announcement to read first thing on Super Tuesday! Dolores, you SO have my vote ... I can only hope Franklin makes it through the campaign :)

Sean said...

got my vote! LOL

soxanne said...

You've got my vote ... which yarn shop is the Fibertarian caucus at tonight ? (Minnesota)

Meribeth said...

We have elephants. We have donkeys. I am all for sheep! Dolores, you have my vote. I am off to spread the word!

catsmint said...

I'll vote for you Dolores! And wear your tshirt proudly to let the world know I'm a Fibertarian ;o)

Carol said...

Okay, that first paragraph was, bar none, in the all time top 5 of fabulous opening sentences ever written. Right next to "It is universally......" by Jane Austen.

And the past 7.5 years have proved that alcoholics with wool in their heads who know nothing about foreign policy can get elected to the presidency.

But what I really want to know is: Dolores, are you admitting that you are at least 35 years of age? (you look much younger)

Lynn said...

Love the string bikini! And the diary entry! And all of it, especially the tax-deductible fiber purchases!

Damn, you're good, Franklin.

SJ said...

Finally, a candidate I can really get behind!

Sonja said...

You have my vote.

Elizabeth said...

Could we have "Dolores for President" cafepress swag??? I want a bumper sticker and badge.........

Cheryl said...

the thong seems especially appropriate.

Emma In France (lloer at lloeren dot com) said...

Since I can't vote Plaid Cymru anymore, I might as well vote Fibretarian.

So, anyone going to start a Knitters For Dolores group on Ravelry?

Jennifer said...

OMG - I just recently found your blog Franklin, and I'm thinking to myself "Where have I been?" This is the best political post I've seen in ages. Thanks for the smiles.

Suzanne said...

Effin' brilliant. I am going to look for a mug of that last image right this second.

Mama-E said...

Please, Delores, a shirt...please add a shirt!

laura gayle said...

Go, Dolores, Go!

Steph said...

Dolores,
With you running for President, I might consider becoming one of the 15% of Canadians who would give up the right to vote in Canada in order to vote in the American election.

(Seriously, though, I'm wondering if that 15% should stop watching so much CNN and start watching more hockey.)

Nancy said...

Bleat to the world! Dolores, your logo is now on my blog. (I'm such a sheep....)

NeedleDancer said...

Oh Franklin,.... er Delores! Thank you so much for bringing light to the election!
I'm writing you in today! (we have our primaries today, but I'm sure our slow witted ballot preparers omitted your name.)
Meanwhile, I neeeeeed a t-shirt. I'd totally wear a Fibertarian Party tee shirt! I wish I had one to wear to the polls today!

Jenn said...

Fred Grandy! Snort! I had the biggest crush on him 30 years ago ...

Jenn said...

.... I was nine ....

wetexit said...

Franklin, you made my day. And thank you Dolores, for stepping up for the team. Such selflessness!

Tammany said...

Dolores, I'm writing you in on my ballot in November. Seriously.

Candice said...

Though I fear more than pregnant Chads at the end of your campaign trail, I must give you my full support. If we're gonna have political spin, let's spin wool.

Jeni said...

I have been trying to make up my mind about the candidates, and low and behold, along comes someone I can truly believe in, you have my vote, in fact, you can have all of them!!

Nita said...

And a crew of Chippendales for the Supreme Court?

Time to get those robes off the old guys and take a new approach to Justice!

Dolores, you're the change we need!

Jeni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
katrog said...

Dear Dolores--

When I woke up this morning it was Super(stupor) Tuesday and I didn't think I could get my sorry ass out of the house to vote. You have now given me a reason to do so. Fibertarians Forever!

Kathleen

Judy F said...

I'm jumping on your bandwagon. well, I'm a little old for jumping but if someone will give me a push, I'm there!

KellyD said...

You know what is fortunate about this entry? Last night some of the other nurses and I were trying to figure out which presidential choice would be the lesser of two evils (when we would have it narrowed down to two evils) Now? It's a shoe -in. Or perhaps I should say hoof-in?
You have my vote and I'm certain that once I run off this amazing Dolores mini poster and splash it all over the hospital walls, the rest of the staff will agree. Let me know if you need a campaign mgr in central KY!

Robin said...

I'm planning writing Dolores in, on this Super Tuesday.

Kathy in San Jose said...

Dolores, you definitely have my vote! I refuse to discuss politics with most people, but I'll campaign door-to-door and make phone calls on your behalf starting today.

mary e said...

cruel you are... I'm drinking a much needed cup of java when i decided to check in on one of my favorite knitters. Once again I will have to avoid the nice guys in IT because i've baptised my keyboard with double strong, double sweet coffee... again. Fortunately, my best friend can order supplies, and I can get enough keyboard cleaner, again, to keep my keys from sticking...That said - where do i send my party donation?!!?

La Cabeza Grande said...

Love it, luv! I have joined the party wholeheartedly today by casting my vote for The First Ruminant of the land, Dolores!

Becky in Iowa :O) said...

You got my vote honey!!

Sandra said...

Dominate me, baby!
(But, if you're planning on taking over Canada, we don't ask for much - add some maple leaves to the flag, leave our health care and beer alone, we're good.)

Carol said...

Finally, someone I can vote for! And a party worth supporting.

bwarnergroup said...

Dolores, I love you! (and I'm totally in when the t-shirt is available)

Jeanne said...

You've got my vote! I'm even willing to help you canvas Chicago for support. Which one do you want to hit first... the Clark Street bar circuit or Boystown?

AuntyNin said...

YAY!! I've been hoping Dolores would toss her fleece into the ring.

Janice said...

Super Tuesday is here in California, I will be voting with thoughs of wool in my mind!!! You go girl......

Teresa said...

Finally! A candidate with my best interests in mind!

Go Delores!

Tigger said...

I like it when you talk from Dolores' point of view. I am afraid I am not old enough (I'm 10) to tell you about political opinions, though I like all those rules about knitting. I bet my mom likes them too.

Tigger

FiberQat said...

I remember the girls at Wheatgrass Depot. We used to go cruisin' in Wagontire before we were kicked out.

Fibertarians unite!

debolsillo said...

Dear Dolores, please we need that you speak with your cousins in Spain, our election is in March 9. We need a candidate as you!!!

MonicaPDX said...

Geeze, I thought Harry would be campaign manager!

I can tell you, right now I am prouder than usual to be an Oregonian. All hail Wheatgrass Depot, a fine community, no doubt, though somewhat obscure when it comes to tracking it down. (I could swear Dad had found every ghost town in Oregon on our vacations...) You've got my vote, Dolores! And I'd like to get my request in early for some humpy bodyguards of my own. You just can't find really cheap gigolos any more.

(Although, sweets? The "Fibertarian Party Boxer Shorts"? Those were a tad scary, until I realized it meant political party.)

marcybee said...

Okay, so when can we get the pic of Dolores 2008 "Let Freedom Bleat" on a t-shirt? Blog buttons are nice and all, but there are some fiber artists who are simply too busy spinning or weaving or knitting to spend much time in the blogosphere. It's important to reach them, too! (I'm first in line for the swag . . . )

--Deb said...

"Let Freedom Bleat"

(snicker)

Too funny. You go, Dolores!!

sloth-knits said...

Awesome! Damn, I wish I could vote in November.

Kathleen said...

Anyone who knows it's a chaise longue and not a chase lounge has my vote.

Erin said...

Dammit! I voted before reading this!

The Knitaholic said...

I love that the title of the book she is holding is "You got a better idea?". Hehehe!
Love ya Dolores (and you as well Franklin)!
Rachele J Beck

KnitNana said...

You go girl! I think the tax-deductible yarn purchases is brilliant!
(((hugs)))

Cindy said...

Yes, yes, yes, I'm with you Dolores! Baaaaaad girl.

a former Oregonian

Lucia said...

"Fledgling" coalition? I prefer to think of us (but of course I am adding myself to the ranks) as a shearling coalition.

My additions to your excellent platform:
- Running for public office under the name of a sheep breed will not be permitted unless the candidate can show ovine descent. Violation will be punishable by exile to New Zealand.
- Expenses related to the maintenance and upkeep of the portion of one's dwelling used to store fiber-related items will be tax deductible.

Sue said...

wow, finally a candidate I can get behind.

Deborah C. said...

I'm in! Finally, a candidate who I can stomach. Would Harry be her running mate?

nanaknits said...

Yes! Finally a candidate who understands the finer points in life and will defend our knitting liberties! Go, Dolores, Go!

Lyda said...

Let Freedom Bleat indeed! Linked on our blog. Delores has the Knitting Zombies vote!

Lyda said...

Hit "publish" before including our blog address... here it is...

BTW, will this make Harry the First Fiber?

Jeanne said...

Thankfully my coffee was in the other room when my orbs rested upon the line "Let Freedom Bleat".

You are priceless! :-)

Leslie said...

Dolores (and Franklin) -- I love you! Thanks for making my day. Do you have bumper stickers??

Oh yeah - Tracy's so right with your VP nominee (Baaaaarack Obaaaaama) - a natural choice!

aunt bee said...

Finally, a candidate who's speaking my language!

Warped in Washington said...

I'll vote for you Dolores, as soon as you add weavers to your constituency. I spin to weave. I'm a lousy knitter. Don't tell. I do love you though. Fiber persons managing the White House lawn? The White House? The World? Yippee!

Kristen said...

Do-lor-es! Do-lor-es! Do-lor-es! Do-lor-es! (We'll just try not to think about the dolor part!)

Sharon Rose said...

Franklin - Can you please add "Fibertarian" text to the sheep image? Ideally in a black long-sleeved women's shirt. *grin* I've already got a Delores 2008 shirt in the cart. This really helps ease the pain of losing John Edwards.:)

SallyT said...

I'd like to see subsidies for the development of nontraditional yarns. Let's support the farmers of bamboo, soy, hemp and corn with fiber production incentives.

Go Dolores!! I'm with you.

marcybee said...

Oh, duh. The swag's already there. Silly me.

dale-harriet said...

"Baaaaaarack for VP" - oy vey, Tracy. President Dolores, may I recommend Soba for your running mate? She'd add just the right elegance (check with Crazy Aunt Purl, though...) I'm campaigning on my blog too -- and if I can get my printer to work I am SO plastering you all over my car, my rolling knitty thingie -- everything I can think of! Fibertarians Unite! And we're just past St Blaise's Day (Feb 3) -he's the patron of woolworkers!

christine (threedogknits) said...

I am worried because I fall into three of Delores' target demographics (I'm not saying which ones!). I guess I'll have to vote for her. Can I be her running mate?

Terri said...

Hysterical post! "Let freedom bleet" is a crack up! You and Dolores both have my vote!

Isela: Purling Sprite said...

you've got my vote and I'll even swing for one of those expensive dinners...just make sure there is more than just grass ;)

Lynne said...

Here's another vote for Dolores! I might as well, since my primary vote was meaningless last Tuesday.

Hey, if I run as Devon Hampshire, can I be exiled to New Zealand? Oh PLEASE don't throw me in that briar patch!

Sarah said...

As my Ravatar now declares, I am "Proud to be a Fibertarian!"

Dave Daniels said...

I'm not sure I can sand behind a candidate who's going to shed on my sofa. Where do you stand on this issue?

Judy in Indiana said...

Will the Fibertarian Party be having a Caucus? Possibly in Chicago? I'd have it in my living room, but I fear it isn't big enough for everyone who want to come. We could hold the Party Caucus and a Night of 1000 Knitters Shoot at the same time.

Would Franklin be the First Man? Just like Bill Clinton, I cannot imagine him in the White House with nothing to do.

deniasha said...

You go Girl! It's about time someone was in office that was honest. My only other suggestion is that each town must have so many yarn stores per 1,000 people. Bad yarn store owners will become part of the FBI's most wanted list!

la takahashi said...

Think of the poster of the bearded man in the red and white suit pointing:

America wants EWE!

:o)

kmkat said...

::whispering:: I am (seriously) running -- unopposed -- for a seat on my county board in rural n.w. Wisconsin. Would Dolores consider endorsing me? I would be honored, and it would ensure that any sheep farmers in my district (exactly zero, but who's counting?) would support me, too. In return I would totally throw my support behind Dolores.

Let freedom bleat, indeed!

Kathleen said...

Wait a minute...isn't there already a Romney in the presidential race?

(har-dee-har-har)

knitnzu said...

DH says Dolores may get a lot of competition from the 'Leathertarians'.

Evelyn said...

I read Fibertarians as Fib-ertarians and thought, hell, we've just had 7 years of that! But now that I have my accent mark in the right place, I'm all on board.

Sue said...

Oh, Dolores, if you win, can I spend a night in the Lincoln bedroom?

christina said...

Well we're forced to wait another month to vote here in the Texas Primary... but Delores, you got my vote!

let freedom bleat!

Lee said...

Until now I was a yellow dog democrat. Now I'm...hmmm...a wooly sheep fibertarian?

Liz said...

"You got a better idea" indeed. I hate 'em all with a passion, so you have my vote. I also have a fairly sexy phone voice so I'm great at getting people to donate money to worthy causes. Just in case you need people to drum up additional financial support.

MysticalCeta said...

Ok! I'm there, too! Dolores, you're a candidate I can definitely support. I'll be glad to handle a phone (do it all day anyway, at my job, between knitting stitches!) and want to put up placards all over the area! Any chance of a campaign stop here in Tucson? Barak sent his wife, and Hillary brought her husband. I didn't go to either, but I'd go to yours!!

knitngardnr said...

Dolores: You have my vote! and today I'm plumb out of better ideas so I'll take yours. and I'm ownin' up to the fact that while I may stray over the line occasionally into dealin' likker--any extra cash is yours.

oh and I'm a renegade quilter. sorry.

Tracey in Mi said...

Nice touch that Dolores is wearing her patriotic thong..... and- as I checked the shop--- I believe we can now all wear matching thongs in solidarity!

Tracey in Mi said...

Dolores- you can lock in my vote- if you promise to declare and uphold my "Right to bear Needles" I want the right to bear them in public, on planes and in traffic.... everywhere--- I have a right!

Move over NRA--- we're the NNA National Needle Association.. And- we're backing Dolores.

Anonymous said...

BLEAT! BLEAT!
I'm voting for you, Dolo! Just put me in the piece of the pie chart between Uppity Women and Sluts. You could categorize us separately as "Uppity Sluts" Or, if you want to simplify things " Uppity Fiber Sluts". That pretty much includes EVERYONE!

Exits, singing "Hold that Romney" (to the tune of "Hold that Tiger")

Anonymous said...

Hey Dolores. I bet ewe are the one who can answer a question I've had ever since I was a tween in my pixie cut, halter jumpshorts and Keds red white and blues--exactly what made Dick tricky?
Michelene

Anonymous said...

Go, Dolores, go! How about aiming for the world, rather than just the US?

lesbianhousewyfe said...

As a proud member of both the liquor dealers and knitters/crocheters delegation, I am honored that you would willingly throw your, ummm..., fleece into the ring.

Finally, a party I can enjoy!

Anne O'Nymous said...

Carol, Dolores may be 35 in sheep years, but she may insist on not providing the conversion ratio.

Sue and SJ said they'd stand behind Dolores, but my guess is that unless one is a good stiff drink (ahem), it's best to stand in front and off to the side.

Thanks, Evelyn, for the translation, and for letting me know I have such good company.

Anne O'Nymous said...

I forgot to add Dolores's new military policy: "Do ask, _DO_ tell."

Susan said...

Dolores, Please wish Franklin a Gong Xi Fa Cia since this new year is the year of the Rat. Wishing him health and prosperity from Singapore!

Seanna Lea said...

Ah, and I had already voted in the primary!

pandasmom said...

thank you for a totally honest candidate. I am proud to be a fibertarian!

Anonymous said...

St. Etheldreda, Queen of Northumbria. (sigh) Northumbria. That sounds so romantic. I'm going to go broke, buying Dolores stuff.
Let freedom bleat!

Terri Lynn said...

Sounds like the makin's of s very Sheepish Committee with Dyed in the Wool sub-committes! This is great!!!!

Criquette said...

We all know that if knitters were in charge, the world 9and country) would be a much better place. You've got my vote!

Shanna said...

Finally! A candidate with a sane stance and a viewpoint we can all relate to!

Permission to use your graphics on Etsy/MySpace/Blogger (is the one of Dorothy grabbable?)

Swan/Dragon: Why not knit the thong in a show of support to the Fibertarian Party? A new (itchy) trend?

Briana the Magnifi-can't said...

Let me ask YOU a question: What do you think of Naalbinding?

Here's a link to what it is:
http://www.stringpage.com/naal/naal.html

and some finished products:

http://www.mielkesfarm.com/images/web-pics/group1.JPG

Cookie said...

In your pie chart, you need to add a few determined Welsh corgis who have discovered your site, thanks to their knitting moms.
Then, again, maybe you did have them, but they ate their portion of the pie, being greedy pigs.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE your campaign. Honesty is what is needed in the White House! You've got my vote!

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Yıllardır zayıflama formülünüz olan oturduğunuz yerden kilo vermenize yardımıcı termojenik yağ yakıcı FX15 şimdi geliştirilmiş içeriği daha da güçlü. Koşmadan, yorulmadan kilo vermenize yardımcı olan FX15 in en büyük farkı pek çok zayıflama ürününün içeriğinde bulunmayan ya da çok az bulunan Garoka Extresi'nin bileşeninde artırılmış olması. Böylece termojenik etkisi artan fx15 ile çok daha hızlı ve çok daha sağlıklı zayıflamanıza yardımcı olur. Zayıflamak için en geçerli yol olan "terleme" ile kilo vermenizi sağlayan FX15 tıpkı spor yapmış gibi vücut metabolizmanızı hızlandırdığı için oturduğunuz yerden yağ yakar, zayıflamanıza yardımcı olur. Üstelik koşmadan, yorulmadan, aç kalmadan, bitkin ve halsiz düşmeden. Fx15 son zamanlarda tüm dünya ülkelerinde olduğu gibi Türkiye’de de oldukça revaçta olan ürünlerden birisidir.. En iyi etkisi genel olarak zayıflatmanın yanında bölgesel olarakta zayıflamanıza yardımcı olmasıdır. Kalp ve mide rahatsızlığınız yoksa, hamile ve emzikli değilseniz güvenle kullanabileceğiniz bir üründür. Bitkisel içerikli bir besin takviyesidir. Metabolizmanızın daha hızlı çalışmasını sağlayarak kilo vermenize yardımcı olur. İçeriğindeki bitki ekstreleri sayesinde hücre zarlarını güçlendirir ve hücrelerinizi oksidatif hasarlardan korur. Antioksidanlar sayesinde sizi olabilecek hastalıklardan korumaya, yaşlanmayı geciktirici ve enerji verici etkiye sahiptir. Günde sabah ve akşam yemeklerinden yarım saat önce1’er tane bol su ile almanız gerekir. Gün içerisinde sizin iştahınızı kesecek, tokluk hissi verecektir ancak siz yine öğünlerinizi atlamadan az da olsa birşeyler yemeli ve gün içerisinde bol su tüketmelisiniz. FX15 tok tutucu özelliği ile size doğal diyet yaptırır. Özel bi program uygulamanıza gerek kalmaz. Cildi sıkılaştırıcı özelliği ile gözler görülür şekilde incelmenize yardımcı olur. Düzenli kullanım sonucunda ideal kilonuza gelmenizde önemli bir rol oynar. FX15'in bir ilaç değil metabolizmanızın hızlanmasını sağlayan bir gıda takviyesidir. İçeriğindeki üzüm ekstresi sindirimi düzenlediği için mide rahatsızlığı gibi bir şikayetiniz varsa bu rahatsızlığınızdan da kurtulmanıza yardımcı olur.. Yüksek tansiyonu düşürücü özelliği vardır. Evet, sizlerinde gördüğü gibi, fiyatlarımızda Yaz indirimi yaptık ve bir süre bu şekilde sizlere Fx15 sunacağız. Tamamen orjinal ve sağlıklı bir ürün olan Fx15’e sizlerde artık oldukça uygun fiyatlar dahilinde sahip olabileceksiniz. Tabii, gizlilik ve güvenlik konusunda da sizleri unutmadık ve tüm ürünlerinizi kapalı paket ile; içeriği belli olmadan gönderecek düzende hazırladık. Bunun yanı sıra, sistemimiz de ki tüm bilgileri de 3. şahıslardan koruyarak, hiç bir bilginiz belli olmadan sipariş vermenizi sağladık. Sitemiz üzerindeki güvenli sipariş sayfasından Kapıda Nakit veya Kapıda Kredi Kartıyla Tek Çekim Ödeme şeklini seçerek sipariş verdiğiniz takdirde kapıda ödeme yaparak ürünümüze sahip olabilirsiniz. Taksitli satın almak istyiorsanız sitemiz üzerinden peşin fiyatına 6 taksitle satın alabilirsiniz. Kredi kartınızla sitemiz www.fx15zayiflama.net üzerinden online ödeme yaparak tek çekim veya vade farksız 6 taksite kadar vadeli olarak ödeme yapabilirsiniz...
Bilgileriniz % 100 güvenli bir şekilde iletilmektedir...

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